My Wee One
by RicksIlsa
Summary: A peak inside the mind of Mr. Gold as he witnesses events leading up to the start of the show. Could be considered a sequel to "To Be a Father"


Title: My Wee One

Rating: PG

Summary: A peak inside the mind of Mr. Gold as he witnesses events leading up to the start of the show. Could be considered a sequel to "To Be a Father"

Also, this explores the Gold/Emma relationship more than anything else. But it is not a romance, so don't worry... ;-)

Special thanks to atatteredrose who is an awesome beta!

Mr. Gold walked determinedly down the dark street. He wasn't sure where he was going or what he was looking for, just that he would know when he found it. The fog that clung to the night-darkened road mirrored the fog in his mind. Something had happened. But what?

_"Emma. Her name is Emma." _

The woman's voice echoed through his mind, though he didn't know who had spoken those words or what they meant. But something inside told him that he had to find this 'Emma'. .' That she was the key to everything. As he walked he thought back over his life. The details seemed sketchy to him, but he didn't find it alarming at all. He couldn't waste time thinking of the false memories that had been planted in his mind by the curse...

He was almost to the edge of town, when he heard it. The 'Welcome to Storeybrooke' sign had just come into view when the piercing wail of an infant suddenly broke the silence of the dark night. His heart began to beat a little faster and his pace picked up. He came to a sudden stop at the sign and shut his eyes.

_"I mean to return,"_ he promised in his mind.

The baby let out another cry, this time much weaker, and his eyes flew open again. His actions became frantic as he searched the ditch at the side of the road. Another full minute passed before he finally spotted her.

The white blanket she had been wrapped in was not enough to keep her warm in the cool Maine night. Elation at the seeing the beautifully stitched name, _Emma_, on the cloth turned quickly to concern as he realized the infant was shivering with cold.

He scooped her up into his arms and was nearly overcome with a feeling of joyful relief. This was the Emma whom he had been seeking. She was the one who would break the curse. Already the memories that had been taken from him were beginning to return.

He plopped down on the damp grass and cradled her close to his chest, hands rubbing the tiny arms and legs in an attempt to warm her. With each stroke of his hand, his mind was flooded with memories of a life he had forgotten. A long, painful, amazing, and lonely life...

He smiled and hummed as he rocked Emma until, finally warm, she relaxed against him in sleep.

"That's right, wee one. Soon enough you'll break the curse and save the day, but for now just sleep and be safe."

The gift of foresight that had plagued him in his old life had now returned, and his heart broke for her. So many tears that would not be wiped away, so many fears and hurts that would not be soothed... so many times the girl would wrap her arms around herself to feel the hug she so desperately wanted but no one would give.

It truly was the worst and most despicable part of his plan. That a child would be hurt. To him children were the most precious of treasures.

"I'll make it up to you, Emma. I promise."

It took a great amount of inner strength to rise to his feet and move down the street toward the next town. Even more to hand the baby over to the baffled policeman.

"Found her on the side of the road. Was out for a walk to clear my head and heard her crying..."

His story was believed. He had a respected and sometimes feared reputation in this world and no one would question his actions today.

He grew a bit angry as he walked back home. His eyes did not see the landscape as he went but were instead focused on events that had not yet come to pass. Another child, a boy, would also be mixed up in this fight. He would keep this child closer and ensure the boy was well cared for. It was the least he could do to keep his promise to Emma.

Almost 18 years later...

Mr. Gold sat on a stool in the back room of his shop, contemplating the blank canvas that sat on the wooden easel in front of him. He held a palate of paint colors in one hand and a brush in the other. His eyes were focused on the past as he recaptured a scene that had long since been forgotten. The first meeting of Snow White and her Prince Charming...

The shop was quiet, as it always was. He had never actually sold anything, for that was not its purpose. His income came from his renters. He owned all of the buildings and had shares in all of the businesses in town; a day job was not required of him.

"Shopkeeper" was merely a role he played as he waited for the events he had foreseen to transpire: the excitement, the fights, the war of good vs evil. The shop was a hobby to keep him grounded and focused on what was important.

The pawn shop held nothing but items of the other world, reminders of all the deals he'd made in another life, physical forms of memories that had been lost. It was a trophy case. A display of his power and influence. He would spend hours dusting, polishing and rearranging the items and savoring the sweet memories they invoked.

The bell on the shop door chimed, announcing that it was again time to play his part. He set his paints aside and moved to the front of the shop, grinning when he caught the scent of her perfume. Usually the only time anyone came into his shop was because they were lost, paying him rent money, or in desperate need of a favor and looking to make a deal. It was the latter that she had come for, and it was all he could do to keep the triumphant grin off of his face.

The single best part about the pawn shop was that Regina Mills hated it. She was always angry when she came to him here, for she knew exactly what it was, though she did not allow herself to believe it. The thought that he might have somehow escaped the curse and held on to his memories was unacceptable to her.

So he kept her guessing. It was entertaining to see her scrutinize his every facial expression and pick apart every word he spoke to her. The question was written all over her face, but she stubbornly refused to ask him : _'Do you remember?'_

He gave her bland smiles and generic answers that could be interpreted a million different ways. Manipulating her was the highlight of his life in the dreary town, and he longed for the day when she finally realized everything he had done to undermine her from the very first time she ever came to him. But he was nothing if not patient. And today was a key day. The deal had to be made, or the child would be lost to them.

"Madam Mayor, what brings you to my humble shop this fine day?" He greeted her politely as always.

She frowned, eyes again darting over his treasures suspiciously before shaking her head and looking at the floor.

"Mr. Gold, you know why I'm here. Let's not play this game. I want... Can you still get the baby for me?"

He smiled, gold tooth flashing.

"But of course. The girl is due to give birth any day now. She desires a closed adoption and does not wish to be contacted ever."

Regina smiled back at him.

"Then do it."

The smile dropped off of his face as she left. Bringing her happiness was not what he wanted, but it was essential to the greater plan.

Two days later at hospital in Phoenix, Arizona...

The scene was touching and tragic. In his mind he was transported back to the night he had found Emma. He had hurt for her then, knowing some of what she would face. And it was nowhere near over her. She had another 10 years to face alone before she could be reunited with the ones who loved her.

From his vantage point in the hall outside her hospital room, he had a clear view of her holding her infant son.

She was hardened from a tough, lonely life, and exhausted from the long labor, but there was nothing but love that shone from her eyes as she examined the new baby.

Emma was whispering to her son, but Mr. Gold was unable to hear what she said. He imagined it was similar to what her own father had said to her on the day of her birth. He knew well the pain of losing a child and wouldn't wish that on anyone, but to willing give up your child... how could anyone even consider that?

Again he felt the guilt of knowing his actions had hurt her. Hurt her enough to give up her child so it could have a better life.

Such amazing strength. Any doubts he might have had concerning her destiny shattered as he watched her place a final kiss on the infant's head before handing him to the nurse.

Emma turned her head to look out the window, not watching the nurse leave the room with the baby.

The nurse walked right past him, but Mr. Gold could not take his eyes off of Emma. The woman took a deep breath, then seemed to collapse in on herself. Quiet, yet powerful sobs shook her entire body, and though it hurt, he made himself watch. He was responsible and it was only fitting that he should share in this pain. She had no friends or family to be with her, to reassure or comfort her. The woman had nothing, not even the knowledge that things would one day be better.

He couldn't let her see him, not yet. She must remain unaware of any connection he had to her for the plan to succeed. But perhaps, one day, he would be able to tell her that he had been there. That she was not completely alone at what was probably the loneliest moment of her life. That there had been an awed witness to the beauty that was the strongest moment of her life.

He waited until she fell asleep. He was not concerned about waking her; the nurse had given her a sedative.

The moonlight spilled across the small, dark room, glinting off her silky blond hair. She was beautiful, as all story book princesses were. He walked up to the bed and peered down at her lovely face, drinking it in eagerly. Eighteen years of endless days and nights where nothing and nobody ever changed. Nobody aged, no hair or fingernails grew, no new lines or creases wore into faces. His fingertips gently touched her face, her hair, her hand as it lay on her stomach, still swollen from pregnancy -Emma had changed.

He remembered the infant he had once held on the dark cold roadside.

Now, he would have the boy. Well, _he _wouldn't have the boy. But he could watch him from afar. Watch him grow and age... He smiled at the thought of such a simple joy.

"It will be okay, Emma. I will make sure he is well cared for. And when the time is right, he will come for you and bring you home. Be strong my wee one," he murmured and placed a kiss on forehead, mimicking her own kiss to her son a few hours earlier.

He took an envelope out of his pocket and, with great satisfaction, dropped it into Emma's open purse, which was lying on the bedside table.

The adoption was legal if not strictly 'by-the-book,' and Mr. Gold's price to Regina for the quick, no-hassle adoption had been $10,000. A price that could not even begin to pay Emma back for what she had just given up, but it would help her to move on. It was the only help he could give her. At least, for the next ten years...

End

I have 3 companion stories to go with this one: Henry's POV, Regina's POV and Mary Margaret's POV. The Henry one will be up at the end of the month!


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